Asukas Off Day
by thrash
Summary: the sequal to Rei's Off Day this came out way better c'mon read it!!!


  
  
ASUKAS OFF DAY  
  
  
THRASH: HI ALL I WENT TO THE DENTIST that guys grate except this fucking anesthetic numbed up most of my mouth it feels like shit god well wile Dr. evil was applying it and doing his dentist thang I decided to brainstorm for Asuka's off day so here goes  
  
Message to   
The daydreamer  
  
You didn't begin anything buddy  
  
  
On with the fic  
  
  
Shinji woke up earlier than usual one morning feeling ... normal (how did youe think he would feel odd? It is ASUKAS off day) he tried to sleep more but couldn't so he decide to get up. He did his usual routine brush teeth comb hair kick pen pen.   
  
SHINJI: thinking pay a bitch!!! Hahaha  
  
After that he got into his normal shy sweet nice guy mode and went to the kitchen to hear cooking  
  
SHINJI: thinking ohhhhhhhhhhhhh shit one of themes cooking again  
  
And so our hero (Shinji for those that haven't paid attention) takes a deep breath sighs and goes into the kitchen. To find Asuka wearing nothing but panties and an apron. That's rite cooking IN HER UNDERWERE her long read hair falling at her waist her shapely legs supporting her perfect body she turned around showing her well developed bust for a fourteen year old clad in an apron (you drooling yet guys).  
  
SHINJI: thinking oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit I'm in for it now  
  
Shinji backed away in fear of LOOSING A LIMB OR HIS LIFE  
  
SHINJI: uh ... Asuka I.... Uh I didn't... um uh ... guh, guh, guh   
  
ASUKA: Shinchan you're awake  
  
Asuka went over to the extremely frightened boy and hugged him  
  
ASUKA: flirtatiously I made a special breakfast just for you  
  
Shinji's body stiffened (this ones for you kimbo) all of his body *stiffened* and Asuka apparently felt *it*  
  
ASUKA: hee, hee, hee oh my aren't we excited today!!!   
  
SHINJI: uh um  
  
ASUKA: well we can fix that hee, hee, hee  
  
The beautiful red headed girl garbed Shinji by the hand and led him to her room you can guess what happened  
  
  
  
THRASHES "OFICE"  
  
THRASH IS OUT AND REI IS DANCING AROUND  
  
REI: do a little dance make a little love get down yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa get down tonight  
  
  
  
BACK AT THE APARTMENT  
  
Shinji is all smiles while eating his breakfast and watching Asuka dress for school in front of him  
  
ASUKA: ok lets go to school  
  
  
  
AT SCHOOL  
  
When Asuka got to school the first thing she saw was rei (Shinji went with the stooges)   
  
|ASUKA: HEY GIRLFRIEN!!!  
  
REI: ...  
  
ASUKA: C'MON GIRL LETS GIRL TALK  
  
REI: girl talk...  
  
ASUKA: YEA!!!  
  
REI: I do not understand  
  
ASUKA: YOU KNOW: GUYS, FAKE ORGASMS, ... YOUR'E ALWAYS SO COLD REI!!!  
  
Even the most calm girl in the whole school (universe) looked surprised (she got called her Rei not wondergirl)  
  
REI: what did you call me?  
  
ASUKA: rei isn't that you're name oh you want a nick name ok ... SHANANA!!!  
  
SHANANA: Asuka please  
  
ASUKE: ohh I want a nick name too I'm SHANTAI!!!  
  
SHANANA: are you not mad at me about yesterday  
  
Even rei smiled warmly fondly remembering the day before it was perfect...  
  
SHANANA: thinking kooooooolade, koooooooolade!!!  
  
SHANTAI: uh shany?  
  
SANANS: uh please call me Rei   
  
SHANTAI: ok Rei can I still be Shantai  
  
Rei was starting to get annoyed by this stupid banter  
  
REI: YES, YES WHATEVER YOU WANT JUST GO AWAY PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LEAVE ME ALONE!!!  
  
Rei starts panting  
  
SHANTAI: (looking all shocked) OH NO YOU DID NOT!!! LOOK GIRL I DON PLAY THAT GAME I GET RESPECT YA HEAR THAT SISTA!!!  
  
SOME GIRL: word up!!!  
  
Rei is now fully annoyed   
  
REI: Grrr  
  
SHANTAI: AND SECON ALL!!!  
  
Rei jumps the window lands on two feet and desperately runs back home to take a shower. After the whole ordeal Asuka turns around to find the whole class staring at her. And swiches from gheto mode to sweet mode.  
  
ASUKA: hi everybody!!! I love all of you, you guys are so special to me!!!  
  
Now we go back to Shinji and his friends  
  
TOUJI: what the hell is up with her  
  
KENSUKE: she's not herself,... when did it start shin-man  
  
SHINJI: this morning  
  
TOUJI: did she do anything weird  
  
SHINJI: blush  
  
KESUKE: you didn't  
  
SHINJI: blush harder  
  
TOUJI: you did   
  
KENSUKE: tell us all the details how was she!!!  
  
Kensuke and Touji kept bantering Shinji to tell them and Shinji kep refuseing but lets go to everyones favorite rep. Hikary had seen all that happened when Asuka went all gheto girl on rei and than got all nice on the whole class  
  
HIKARY: ... I need to go to the library  
  
Back to "the three stoges"  
  
TOUJI: c'mon  
  
SHINJI: NO  
  
KENSUKE: tell us  
  
SHINJI: NO  
  
TOUJI: please  
  
KENSUKE: pleas, ... cmon, cmon  
  
TOUJI: please  
  
SHINJI: NO  
  
TOUJI: please  
  
SHINJI: NO  
  
TOUJI: please  
  
SHINJI: NO  
  
TOUJI: please  
  
SHINJI: NO  
  
TOUJI: please  
  
SHINJI: NO  
  
TOUJI: please  
  
SHINJI: NO  
  
TOUJI: please  
  
SHINJI: NO  
  
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing  
  
SHINJI: awwww would you look at that it's the bell got to go to my seat damn  
  
Shinji runs over to his seat and sits down while the teacher enters the room. Seeing the teacher inside Asuka runs over to him  
  
TEACHER: oh shit she finally lost it  
  
ASUKA: teacher I missed you  
  
Asuka gives the teacher big ol hug and kisses him on the cheek  
  
ASUKA: hi, hi, hi  
  
TEACHER: uhh....  
  
ASUKA: hey Prof. I really enjoyed the homework I just loooooooooooooooooooove jr. high school!!!  
  
TEACHER: are you ok Asuka  
  
ASUKA: off course what ever makes you say that   
  
TEACHER: Asuka um maybe you should go see the nurse...  
  
ASUKA: what ever you say teach  
  
TEACHER: yea  
  
The teacher try's to go over to scribble the pass when he finds that he cant move  
  
TEACHER: uh... Asuka   
  
ASUKA: yes?  
  
TEACHER: could you let go of me  
  
ASUKA: ok  
  
Asuka lets go of the poor man and he gives her a pass  
  
TEACHER: sigh I see Rei's absent again...  
  
  
  
NURSES OFICE  
  
the school nurse is jumping wildly listing to satanic sounding music with a cup of "lambs blood" (koooooooooooooooooooolade) and wearing dark robes  
  
NURSE: singing like Marilyn MansonMOTHER FUCKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER DIEEEEEEEEEEEE SATAN BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD SOMEONES GONNA DIE WHEN YOURE SPEEKING TO ME D-D-D-D- DIE, DIE, DIE!!!  
  
BEEB   
  
INTERCOM: were sending in Asuka  
  
NURSE: ASUKA! but she's crazy  
  
INTERCOM: look who's talking Marilyn  
  
NURSE: sighs send her in  
  
The nurse dejectedly turns of the music finishes her "blood" takes robes of and puts a stethoscope around her neck. (She was wearing her uniform under her robe). Asuka walks in side  
  
ASUKA: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupppp  
  
NURSE: thinking oh yea its gonna be a lo...o...o...ong day  
  
  
  
  
a few minutes later Asuka is sitting on the bed thingy they have at doctor offices and is chatting with the nurse  
  
  
ASUKA: heydoyoulikensincthairsoooooooooooooooooocuteijustwannahugemalllll  
  
NURSE: good for you Asuka please go back to class  
  
ASUKA: oky dokey  
  
NURSE: thinking if I hear the words funny bunny one more time I'm gonna quit  
  
  
Asuka walks out of the nurses office and goes back to class   
  
  
  
CLASS  
  
Rei is back and is normal sitting in her seat staring out the window.  
  
  
  
LIBRARY   
  
Yup, it our favorite rep reading the evil books again  
  
HIKARY: spell works best with human sacrifice hmm... didn't I  
  
Hikary looks behind the librararien's desk to find her there the librarian looks happy to see her thinking she was gonna be set free  
  
HIKARY: hi  
  
  
  
SECRET ROOM in nerv  
  
Gendo is sitting in his desk being his usual scary, intimidating self. And Ritsuko is talking to him  
  
GENDO: so the first and second child are acting strange  
  
RITSUCO: yes yesterday it was Rei, and now Asuka  
  
GENDO: what have they done to make you think they were acting strange  
  
Ritsuko explains the whole story of what happened to Rei the day before.  
  
GENDO: yes this is very odd lets wait and see what happens and if anything weird happens we will look into it more closely now BRING IN THE DANCING LOBSTERS   
  
Like in "the Amanda show" I bunch of guys in lobster out fits come in and start dancing around  
  
GENDO: yes all is in order... get yo fweek on   
  
  
  
THE HALL  
  
Rei is walking back to class when she turns around to use the rest room but sees Asuka turn a corner   
  
REI: thinking she hasn't seen me yet how do I get away... hmm  
  
Suddenly Rei remembers something she saw with Shinji on the discovery channel rei presses herself against the wall and starts to concentrate  
  
REI: THINKING she cant see me  
  
ASUKA:in a very sweet, and innocent voice watcha doing Rei   
  
  
  
LIBRARY  
  
HIKARY: SATAN I COMAND YOU!!!!  
  
  
  
CLASSROOM  
  
Shinji needed to use the bathroom so he slowly raised his hand  
  
TEACHER: yes Ikari  
  
SHINJI: may I use the bathroom  
  
Normally the Teacher wouldn't let anyone go during class but he was fond of Shinji "such a nice politer young man" he always said.  
  
TEACHER: yes you may Shinji  
  
SHINJI: thank you  
  
Shinji takes the pass and walks out the door into the hall to see Rei pressed against the wall and Asuka is standing in front of her  
  
ASUKA: blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah  
  
Shinji seeing this goes up to them  
  
SHINJI: hey Asuka the teacher needs you  
  
ASUKA: oh Shinchan  
  
Asuka walks over to Shinji kisses him on the cheek and runs back to class. Shinji notices Rei pressed against the wall  
  
SHINJI: Rei what are you doing  
  
REI: I do not understand it worked for them  
  
SHINJI: why were you up against the wall  
  
REI: I was trying to hide from her  
  
SHINJI: Asuka  
  
REI: yes  
  
SHINJI: but you're out in the open   
  
REI: remember when we saw that show on the Discovery channel  
  
SHINJI: uh the one on the chameleons  
  
REI: yes and guess what  
  
SHINJI: what?  
  
REI: IT DOASN'T WORK!!!  
  
Rei walks back calmly to class. Leaving Shinji standing alone in the hall  
  
SHINJI: I gotta take a piss  
  
  
LIBRARY  
  
HIKARY: I offer the blood of a virgin to you  
  
LIBRARIAN: still gagged ei ot a igen  
  
HIKARY: what  
  
LIBRARIAN: I a ot a igen  
  
HIKARY: you're not a virgin?  
  
LIBRARIEN: orry  
  
HIKARY: a crappy poo  
  
  
  
  
CLASS  
  
Shinji is back and is chatting with Kensuke and Touji  
  
G.I Joe: Asuka is acting weird  
  
Dumb Jock: ooh genies boy figured it out  
  
Shy guy: yea she's not being how can I say it  
  
G.I Joe: an asshole  
  
Shy Guy: well... yea  
  
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing  
  
Lunch time  
  
  
  
LUNCH  
  
the three stooges are eating together under a tree that's about it  
  
TOUJI: I swear if she asks me if she's fat I'm dropping out of school  
  
  
  
LIBRARY  
  
Hikary and the librarian are sitting around in the library  
  
LIBRARIAN: we need a virgin  
  
HIKARY: but where can we find one  
  
  
  
LUNCH  
  
Asuka is skipping around looking for Hikary so they can have lunch together  
  
ASUKA: where could Hikary be  
  
Asuka comes across the three stooges (why do I call them that well I'm to lazy to type Shinji, Kensuke, and Touji but look at that I already typed a lot... crap)  
  
ASUKA: Hi Touji!!!  
  
TOUJI: uh...hi   
  
ASUKA: hey do you think I'm fat  
  
TOUJI: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah  
  
Touji runs to the office to drop out of school forever.  
  
ASUKA: what's up with him guys... um guys  
  
Asuka looks around to see no one is around  
  
  
  
LIBRARY  
  
Hikary are in the library and have a pantograph on the floor with a green haird girl in the middle of it.  
  
HIKARY: leaves the body of Asuka incubus  
  
(A/N: whatever tomorrow brings ill be there)  
  
GIRL: uck ou  
  
HIKARY: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!  
  
  
  
LUNCH  
  
Asuka is well um you know what I'm out of jokes and out of plot better make the lunch bell ring  
  
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing  
  
ASUKA: lunch is over lets got to go to class weeeeeeeeeee  
  
  
  
LIBRARY  
  
HIKARY: OH SHIT could you finish this  
  
LIBRARIEN: yea sure whatever  
  
HIKARY: thanks  
  
  
  
CLASS  
  
Class was normal the rest of the day  
  
  
  
The next day Shinji wakes up and goes into Asuka's room. Asuka is dressing for school when she feels something around her waist she looks down to see Shinji's arms around her  
  
ASUKA:... WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU LITTLE ASSHOLE  
  
SHINJI: I thought you aaah Asuka put that down no wait   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Fin  
  
  
  
  



End file.
